


Falling

by differentjasper



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: A little, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Brotherly Angst, Changing Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Gen, Name Changes, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Crowley (Good Omens), Other, Tags Contain Spoilers, They/Them Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), War, Ze/Zir Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), not quite but this is the closest tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 03:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20167384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/differentjasper/pseuds/differentjasper
Summary: Crowley wasn't the only one to change his name after his Fall.A look at him and Aziraphale before, during, and after the War.





	1. Before

"Gadreel, _please," _Michael sighed, rolling her eyes. She waved them off. "Don't bother the archangels, we're _busy. _Go... explode another minor star, or something."

"They're called _nebulas," _Gadreel muttered, feeling very small.

Gabriel smiled at him, kind, in that infuriating way that he was. "Don't worry, little sibling," Gabriel sang confidently. "We'll have time for you soon. She has decided that every seven 'days', whatever those are, means _rest." _

Gadreel stormed off, feeling very small and dismissed indeed.

"Hey. Gadreel," someone hissed. Gadreel turned to the voice and saw Lucifer standing behind a cloudbank that might have been called a pillar.

"What?" Gadreel snapped, not feeling quite up to dealing with another archangel at this point.

Lucifer smiled. "I just was curious, is all. Do you have a moment?"

* * *

"Israfel?" The small angel startled at his name, nearly dropping his trumpet.

"Yes?" Israfel asked quietly.

Raphael smiled at him, gently. "There you are. I thought you might have gone with Dagon again to talk about those books."

Israfel laughed in a nervous way that said _I'm not sure if I should be laughing or not. _"They're... interesting. I like them a lot."

"As you should!" Raphael burst out, and Israfel jumped again. Fear may not exist yet, but anxiety sure did, especially in this angel, in _spades._ "We're meant to love all things that God creates, and that includes each other, and those books." Raphael ruffled the blond curls set upon Israfel's head, and the small Principality's nose scrunched, in indecision about how to feel about the action.

"O-of course," he replied, deciding it would not be wise to mention he liked the books a teensy bit more than some of Her other creations.


	2. During

There was chaos everywhere. Golden blood of angels flew through the air, some of it rotten upon contact with the ground again. More and more angels were being pushed up to the edge of Heaven, to fall through the atmosphere of Earth to only-She-knows where.

And Gadreel was running through it all, flinching when a burst of feathers hit them in the side, or a splash of blood stained their robe darker and darker grey.

"What are you doing?!" Gadreel cried out as they were suddenly grabbed roughly by the edge of one space-dark wing. Another hand came to grip their long red hair, holding them in place as they cried. They realized it was Lucifer, covered in another Angel's blood and Halo cracked. Gadreel wasn't sure how he was there, they _knew _they saw him fall, that was the _start _of this battle. He must have crawled his way back up, somehow. That would explain the worn down claw shapes at the ends of his fingers, his own blood rotted under the flesh.

"Why aren't you fighting?" Lucifer hissed, loudly, into Gadreel's ear. Gadreel whimpered, and wished for Gabriel, Raphael, someone, _anyone. _

"Gadreel?!" Their wish had come true! Michael, Sandalphon, Uriel! Gadreel nearly cried out in happiness, about to ask where they had been, could the archangels (and Sandalphon) please _save _them, they didn't want to fight they just wanted things to go back to _normal, _as normal as they could be with so many less angels in Heaven.

But then they saw the cold eyes of Michael, and Sandalphon's set, grim grin. Uriel just looked... _sad. _

"So this is where you've been," spat Michael, and Gadreel didn't feel at all safe anymore. "Sandalphon was right. You _have _been hanging around the Rebels."

Gadreel wanted to say that no, they hadn't, they'd just been asking a few questions, Lucifer had made them _curious, _but Lucifer's tight grip made the words freeze in their mouth.

"Yessss," Lucifer hissed, and Gadreel could feel the sound dripping down his spine like the chill of dark matter. "We've been... _fraternizing." _

Sandalphon scoffed, and Michael sneered. She gestured, and the other two angels stepped forward.

"No, no, no no no _no no nonono" _Gadreel whimpered, that sound the only thing that would come out of their mouth.

"Should've thought about that before you decided to ask questions," Sandalphon snapped, and Uriel nodded as they both grabbed hold of the two angels who had been doomed to Fall.

Gadreel tried to struggle, tried to kick out, but another hand, whether it was Lucifer's or Sandalphon's or Uriel's would grab it and stop them. Lucifer moved one hand from their hair to their mouth, keeping them from screaming out that they had the wrong angel.

They were crying so hard, they could feel golden blood vessels bursting behind their eyes. They were sure it wasn't a pretty look, dark golden yellow behind the eyes designed for work in the darkness of space. But they had more concerning things at the moment, deeper pain like _burning and screaming and even Lucifer had let go and started to scream, the sound of meteors through the atmosphere as they fell down, down, down..._

* * *

Israfel had been sitting, practicing his trumpet, when it had all started. Gabriel had come running up, startling Israfel and making Raphael sit up straighter than Israfel had ever seen.

"What is it, brother?" Raphael asked, reaching out to calm Gabriel. Gabriel was looking left and right, seeming... terrified.

"It has started," he whispered, almost out of Israfel's hearing. "Lucifer has Fallen, _please _tell me you haven't been working with him--"

"No, no," Raphael assured him. Gabriel relaxed as Raphael continued. "He does not love all of God's creations, let alone equally. I refused to attend his speeches after the first."

"Thank Her. And your apprentice?"

Raphale cast a quick glance to Israfel. "Yes, he's trusted. I've kept an eye on him the whole time."

"Good, good. I have to find Gadreel, they're probably terrified, I have to make sure they don't Fall--" he seemed to realize something, like he'd been distracted. "Right! We need all the troops we can. Raphael--"

"I'm not fighting," Raphael said firmly. "You know I won't. I can heal those who need it, but I'm a _strict _pacifist."

"Of course," Gabriel said, as if that was obvious. "I would _never _make you fight, brother. No, I have a delivery for Israfel."

He held out something by its leather handle. It was about as long as Israfel's trumpet, and the same type of metal. It looked very sharp, and was flaming like anything.

Israfel hadn't seen one before, but he knew it was a sword. And he knew how to use it.

"Israfel, Apprentice and Announcer of Raphael, Guardian of Music and the Eastern Gate. You have been assigned a flaming sword to assist God's army."

"No," Raphael gasped, like he'd been punched. "No, he's so innocent, you can't make him."

Gabriel turned to his brother, eyes sad. "I'm sorry, Raphael. He didn't make that same promise you did."

"Because he isn't ready!" Raphael snapped. "He was meant to learn more before he took the vow, I was meant to _teach _him more--"

They startled suddenly to see that Israfel had already taken the sword. The trumpet was gently leaned against a pillar, and the small Principality was staring into the flames that licked at his fingers and face.

If he didn't look so sad, Gabriel would have looked smug. "He's already accepted it, Raphael. Now go heal some of the troops." And with that, he went off to search for Gadreel.

"You don't have to do this," Raphael whispered, like he had no breath in his lungs to say more. "Israfel--"

"If I don't, I may Fall," Israfel whispered back, and marched on to battle.


	3. After

A demon finally pulled themself out of the sulfur, and groaned. It had been hard, to get out, something like a combination of the thick hot liquid holding them down, their limbs being a bit too long and gangly to operate properly, and those limbs vanishing completely occasionally. Their wings didn't help, feathers dragging through burning liquid.

They coughed and spat sulfur, knowing it was dripping all over, an absolute _mess. _

Then they realized how _cold _it was.

They hissed, leaping back into the sulfur. Not completely, they didn't want more inside of them, but up to their shoulders. The sulfur was too hot, but they couldn't think of anywhere else to be. There wasn't an in between unless they wanted to use their aching wings to glide above the heat of the sulfur.

"I see yer awake," a voice gargled, and they turned to see who it was. It was Hastur, standing just beside the sulfur pits. Ligur was right beside him, and they were leaning against each other as they did Above. But they had severe injuries, ones that were already infected.

"I... yes," they finally replied, not sure what else to say. "What'ssssss... oh!"

They had meant to say _What's happening, where are we, _but instead they caught on the _s _and kept going. It was like their mouth was better designed for the noise, now. After a bit of tongue twisting and exploration, it was discovered that this was because of the forked tongue now residing there. That explained the too-strong stench of sulfur and rot.

Hastur looked a bit hysterical, giggling and falling over into Ligur. "Welcome to Hell, kid," he rasped through his laughter.

"What's yer name?" Ligur asked, smiling at them. They didn't trust the smile, but Ligur was alright, for someone who criticized their color choices for nebulas.

They thought for a moment. "I don't know yet," they whispered. They didn't deserve the name they'd had before, the one gifted by their brothers and sisters and siblings.

Hastur and Ligur looked a bit startled, but accepted it. "Suppose it's nah the weirdest thing we've heard come out of the pit," Ligur finally said.

They didn't know that Lucifer was about to burst from the waters like a dolphin* and laugh at the young Fallen for the comment, and promptly dub them Crawley when the fear made them turn to snake form and Ligur had told him the name situation.

*dolphins are surprisingly terrifying. Look them up sometime. A certain demon did, and was impressed by their cunning and evil. They never made this comparison themselves, because they liked dolphins too much.

* * *

The angel was panting from exertion as silence finally fell. Violence had been his reality for what felt like forever, so the silence almost _hurt. _His eyes were wide, as if taking in the injuries of his fellow angels would help. He kept breathing harder and harder, trying to fill the silence...

When a hand suddenly clapped on his shoulder, he nearly took it off with his sword. Then he realized it was Raphael, checking him for injuries, and relaxed. He never let go of the sword, though, afraid another Fallen was going to crawl their way up over the edge and try to cut him down.

Raphael's eyes were filled with tears. "Oh, dear Israfel, I'm so sorry," he said, wiping a bit of gold blood from the angel's temple.

Something felt... off about the statement, but the angel couldn't quite figure out what it was just yet.

"Raphael? Raphael! Israfel!" Gabriel ran toward them, looking fine, except...

"Oh, Gabriel, your wings!" Raphael cried, and stood to heal them. Gabriel's wings were no longer pure brushed-steel silver, they had streaks of glittering mercury shine where Raphael healed them. Scars until the end of time.

"It's fine," Gabriel whispered, holding Raphael close. "At least you and Israfel are safe." The angel felt another twinge, possibly... annoyance. He noticed that Gabriel was crying himself.

"Where's Gadreel? You were so worried about them," Raphael asked, and Gabriel broke down.

"I'm so sorry," Gabriel sobbed, "He was with Lucifer. Michael told me. They... they tossed him over."

"No, no, don't be sorry," Raphael assured. _"I'm_ sorry. I know he was important to you."

"They _took _them," Gabriel continued, rage slowly overtaking his sadness. "Those awful Rebels _took _them from me. I won't ever get to see my sibling again," he sobbed.

"Shh, shh, shh," Raphael soothed. He couldn't see it, but the younger angel could: that the calming wasn't a true soothing. He could see the purple eyes swirling from a gentle lavender to a sharper, colder pumpernickle.

They finally separated. Raphael smiled, pleased to have calmed his brother. He'd never been very good with the emotional side of things.

Gabriel finally turned to the angel. "Israfel. I see you took up arms," as if he hadn't been there to see the angel staring at the sword in his hand. Then again, Gabriel was a bit forgetful about personal things.

"No," the angel muttered.

"What was that?" Raphael asked, before Gabriel could get indignant.

"I said no." The young principality had finally figured out what was bothering him. "I'm not Israfel. Not anymore. I don't... I don't deserve that name," he said, realizing that tears were flowing from his eyes now. "I _fought, _Raphael. Healers don't hurt. And I hurt a lot." There was a double meaning in his words, but neither archangel would pick up on that.

"What name will you choose, then?" Gabriel asked. The angel didn't fault him for the tone he took, something cold and snapping.

He was also a bit dumbstruck. He'd just come out of a war, and he had very little imagination in the first place, like any angel. What little he did have was courtesy of his musical ability, and that didn't extend so far.

"Um... Aziraphale," he blurted, gripping his sword a little tighter, like Gabriel was going to take it now that the War was over. "Yes, Aziraphale."

Gabriel sniffed. "Not much of a difference, but I can see the importance."

Raphael smiled, even though it was sad, and full of loss. "I trust your decision, Aziraphale," he said, trying out the new name. The smile was a little less sad. "It suits you."

Aziraphale smiled back, and they began the journey back to the choirs, to see who was left.


	4. Meanwhile

Gabriel frowned, looking into the ether for a brief moment.

"Somethin' wrong?" Beelzebub asked, though zey didn't reach out to pat his arm like an angel might have.

"I... I'm not sure," Gabriel admitted, a furrow between his brows and a twitch down at the corner of his mouth betraying his nerves at not knowing. "I just... something felt... different."

Beelzebub shrugged. "There'szz two different angelszz hangin' with two different demonszz on Earth right now. That probably haszzzz_some _effect."

Gabriel hummed, just a hint of celestial harmonies behind it making Beelzebub both wince, for the pain of a holy sound, and lean forward, for missing it. "Right. Ok, do you have the file I asked for?"

Zey rolled zir eyes. "Of coursze I do, I didn' just aszzk you here for commiszzeratin'," zey buzzed, and pulled the file from... somewhere. Zey waved it in his face. "Though that'szz pretty szzatiszzfying, too," zey admitted, before finally handing it over.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, but there was fond look behind the lavender irises. "Yes, it gets a bit tiring, being in charge of so many. Even _with _assistance from others."

Beelzebub rolled zir eyes again, but this time in exasperation at something that had been bothering them for a _lot _longer, and zey immediately turned a grin at Gabriel for getting to rent. _"Tell _me about it. My court doeszzn't even work well with me at the beszzt of timeszz, and after Crowley's _sztunt, _there'szz been szzzzoooo much inszzubordination from the lower demonszz... szzomething wrong?" zey finally asked, concern replacing delight. It felt a bit stiff, from being a much rarer expression. Granted, delight was rare, too, but at least it had made a few appearances over the last six thousand years before the meetings with Gabriel began.

This rare concern had appeared at the sight of Gabriel's face falling, shock the only thing filling his hollow expression. His eyes were nearly blue with... something. Zey weren't quite good at reading his eyes yet, they were much more subtle than Ligur's rainbow.

"They... he's..." Gabriel murmured, like he didn't have anything in his lungs. He didn't anyway, but this was more metaphorical.

"Gabriel," Beelzebub said sternly, finally reaching out.

The angel startled, nearly making papers fly everywhere. "I... thank you for this information. I have to go. Find Raphael. Wherever he is. Um. Thanks for the... get-together. Bye."

Beelzebub shot up with Gabriel, intensely aware that Gabriel only got that casual when he was nervous or around family. And the demon and angel weren't that close, yet. _"Gabriel," _zey buzzed, attempting to glare an answer out of him. "What'szz wrong?"

Gabriel looked... a bit haunted. Like he'd made a terrible mistake. "I... don't worry. I'll tell you later, I swear, I just... have to do something first." And with that, he fled.

Beelzebub sat back into zir seat with a _thump. _"What the hell?" zey muttered, trying to puzzle out how one file on the demon that had been a bother for both Heaven and Hell made Gabriel freak out like that.

Beelzebub hadn't, before asking for the file from Dagon, but surely he'd already known about the name change, since he'd asked for information on Gadreel?


End file.
